Lanie:  I want a kitten.
A.:  Hmmm.  What color?
Lanie:  Fluffy.

A.:  I’m going out now.
Lanie:  Don’t do anything I haven’t done.

A.:  We don’t need a cat.  Let’s buy a dog.
Lanie:  No.  A dog will bark at everything in sight and hump people’s legs.
A.:  Let’s buy a dog and call him Rapist.

Lanie:  What are you doing?  We’ll be late for the train.
A.:  I’m in the bathroom.
Lanie:  You have to go to the bathroom now?
A.:  It’s now or never.

A.:  One man’s clutter is another woman’s decoration.

A.:  What’s the best pick-up line for a guy you can think of?
Lanie (after a pause): “I will spread you like cream cheese over a bagel.”  Try to top that!
A. (thinks, then with a French accent): “You are like a beautiful flower.  May I pollinate you?”

In an Indian restaurant.
A.:  I have reached satori.
Lanie:  I have reached biryani.

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